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Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving 2010

Well folks what can I say.  DW's family came down, had a nice day.  Got to use my new pro camera and got a few keeper pics that I've uploaded to the web.  My D-I-L was so gracious to let me be silly and get a few impromptu photo's of her, she is such a sweetie.

While not disappointed at one of wifes daughters not showing (she's a tosser) it did keep wife from seeing her grandchildren (one she raised because DCS took him away from the daughter) and of course this is how she is repaid.  I think the tiger should have eaten that one.

We all had fun on the Wii and it was a noisy, fun time.......then everyone had to leave to travel back to their respective homes and just as quick as a clap of thunder they were gone.  Just now getting over the "it's so quiet now" feeling.

Wife's Father was not in attendance this year.  He has new wife and she wanted to do a Thanksgiving for her side of the family.  Totally understandable unless your the eldest daughter....then I think it's a feeling of subtle abandonment.  I watch but can only offer a smile to ease the discomfort.

I took my rightful place as MC of the Thanksgiving kickoff and shared a few thoughts that I had researched the night before and had written down.  Thought provoking was my intent and I think the message got through to one or two.  God bless her Son, you see he is a young man filled with the Spirit and a Youth Minister at his church and is a very traditional long winded Baptist.  At the conclusion of the "Thanksgiving" prayer everyone in attendance holds hands and says what they are thankful for.  A fine tradition!  I concluded my thoughts on the Thanksgiving holiday (and actually learned how it came to be in my research) and concluded with a poem by Emerson that I turned into a prayer by ending with "Amen".  It was simple and to the point.  Everyone in turn said a brief thanksgiving then we got to the young preacher...Oh the vitality of youth!  At the conclusion he said "aren't we going to bless the food" to which my wife said, "what do you think he just did"?  He looked stunned as it was so short and succinct that it couldn't have been a prayer.  We all smiled and had a chuckle and it was FEAST ON!

It was a good day that ended well with all that were in attendance arriving back to their homes safely.  There will be some that don't this Thanksgiving.

Wife found out second hand of her fathers intent with the old home place and was hurt by not hearing it from him.  I asked a few questions and she was rather curt and snippy, not at me mind you but at the situation.  Personally I think she needs to "pitch a bitch" to get some of these heavy feelings off her heart.  Alas this is not her way and I am not sure what is because she does not like conflict of any kind even though conflict is a part of life and inevitable, even in it's mildest form.  It's going to happen.

I think I could call her father, mention a few things to him that would sharpen his awareness.  I've done it before and he took the hint.  I'm just not sure if I should.  I think she needs to do this one but it's a biggie and it will surely overwhelm her.  What she doesn't realize is that he is just as afraid of conflict because he has got so much of his own right now and probably will forever.  He is afraid he won't be forgiven (although it's not forgiveness he needs) for marrying another woman so quickly after his wife of 50 years passed away.  What my wife is almost at the precipice of understanding but can't communicate to him is that she doesn't care he married "what's her name", it's that he doesn't know how to play the two family game and he's not doing it very well to satisfy his wife.  All he would have to do is just remember her, even the tiniest bit and here is a good example.  On a recent trip to Flordia from North Carolina (you have to pass through our town) to see his son from the woman that is now his wife (they had a child very young, she put him up for adoption and they went their separate ways.  He married my wifes mother and was with her until she passed away) he did not even make a gesture to stop in even if only for the briefest moment, much less make a phone call to say "hey we are passing through, tight schedule and can't stop but wanted to holler as we went by".  Now to make all this so much worse is the wife finds out they are visiting his "other" child via Facebook.  She was PISSED and I don't blame her.  It's like he is sneaking past her, not giving her what she is used to and rightfully so, to make up time with this other offspring.

Now this other fella is a really nice guy.  I like him and his wife a lot.  They are just good people and we had a cabin next to them on our honeymoon.  Wife and I were just beat down from the wedding and Ceilidh afterwards and they would bring us coffee for a couple of mornings.  Good people they are and not trying to "suck up", they are just good people.  They are just just like me in all of this, ready to be nice and amicable but ain't gonna put up with no shit either...LOL.  I've had my say about somethings already myself about her brother and sister and their "holier than thou" attitudes.  It's her father that is perpetuating this feeling of abandonment, trying to keep things separate that are anything but separate.  He just doesn't know that all he has to do is do like he always did with her (my wife) and her brothers and sisters when it came to showing attention and just fold the "other" sibling into the mix and it'll all work out.  It's really just that simple.  Odd how the simple things are what escape us most often and I of course am NO exception.

Well "Black Friday" is just a few hours away and I may or may not participate.  If I do it will to watch all the silliness.

Slainte` - G23

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